you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
