okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
