So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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