...so i touched it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
