Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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