At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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