I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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