Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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