I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
