What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
