better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
