I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
