wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
