I didn't shave. On purpose
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
