Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
