How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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