oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
