As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am spending my child support on dildos
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
