okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
