My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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