i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
