I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
