I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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