I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize