therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You can't special order awesome
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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