i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
