literally had 100 drinks last night.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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