According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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