I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize