He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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