return my video game
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
