I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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