Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
