I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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