She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
