she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
