you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
