Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
