I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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