It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
