LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
