I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
