are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
