I heard we made out
one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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