i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
