8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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