Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
50% drunk capacity currently
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
