i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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