It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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