There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's blow job season.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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