I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
