Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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