I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
