Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
