Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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