Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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