Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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