I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize