I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
