It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
