I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i believe in u and ur pee
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
