I'm drive I can fine osifer
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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