Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
