I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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